I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
