Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
