ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
