I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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