Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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