I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
this is an emotional support booty call
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
