Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
