Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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