So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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