Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
