Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
