ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
