if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
