Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize