I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
