I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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