i think my mom watched the whole time
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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