oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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