HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
