I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
