Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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