I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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