You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
