How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
