That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Randomize
