he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just want to make out with him forever
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
