i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
