so that wasnt chicken after all
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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