god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was confusing and full of hummus
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
