Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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