I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
