I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize