guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
