I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
