put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
