Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
