I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
