six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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