I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
