quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
