So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
