So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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