Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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