Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
