If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
