She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
