I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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