I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i've created a new STD.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
