ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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