LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
