Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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