It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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