I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I could fuck to npr.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
