id be glad to
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
