wakey wakey hands off snakey
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I can't put those talents on a resume
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He shit in the fireplace
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
