Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
