just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
