I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
